Welcome back to The Daily Mastermind. George Wright III here with your daily dose of inspiration, motivation, and education. It's Monday morning, and I'm really excited about what I'm going to do for you here today. As you know, each of the Mondays for the last, oh, I guess it's been about seven weeks, we've been featuring one strategy from the Creating Your Ultimate Destiny program by Robert Stuburg. This whole discovering your life's purpose idea that we talked about last week feeds right into all of these things we've been talking about in the Creating Your Ultimate Destiny program. So for the last seven weeks, we've gone through your beliefs, your decisions, your actions, your identity, your education, your focus, and of course last week, your life's purpose. And this week, the eighth strategy in that program is taking control of your emotions. your feelings and this is a really really critical one because I think emotions is what a lot of times holds entrepreneurs small business owners individuals pretty much anyone in life back from accomplishing their most important things in life and really become in the version the best version of themselves and so I'm gonna do something a little bit different today than I've done normally and I really think you're gonna like it I think this is gonna be a real treat for you. I'm going to go ahead and play you an audio segment, basically a couple of tracks off the Creating Your Ultimate Destiny audiobook program done by my business partner Robert Stuburg. I think he just does a phenomenal job of really telling the stories and talking through this idea of taking control of your emotions because at the end of the day the key the secret that the ultimate thing you can do is learn to go from this idea of achieving things to be happy to happily achieving and if you can learn to focus on the journey rather than the result and the end goal you can really really shift in a big way your life and it all boils down to your emotions and so I'm gonna let Robert take you through and I've kind of put together a a couple of tracks from this audiobook section, this particular chapter on taking control of your emotions. So I really hope you enjoy it and without any more delay, here is my partner Robert Stuburg. What if I told you that you could make a wish for anything you ever truly wanted and it could be granted immediately without your having to even lift a finger? Intrigued? Good, because I have something intriguing to share with you. Something that can change your entire life just by hearing it. In this session we're going to talk about the ways we actually prevent ourselves from getting what we truly want in life and removing these self-erected blockades will have the effect of finding a magic lamp. One that with just a little bit of concentration can bring you your heart's desire. I'll show you how to unleash your own personal genie right now. Let's say you want a million dollars. Now this is for illustration purposes only but when you apply it to the things you truly want in your own life this technique will work for anything you want. A tangible object, wealth, status or some other kind of success, a situation, a certain type of relationship or anything else you can imagine. But for right now, say what you really want is a million dollars and this is something you've dreamed of for a long time. In fact, you already know what you're going to do with it. You could allocate it to the penny. How much will be saved, how much will be invested, how much will be spent and on what. Now that you're all ready to have a million dollars immediately, what if I told you that what you truly want is not a million dollars? And no, I'm not implying that you really want more money than that, or the many tangible things that a million dollars can buy. But what you truly want are the emotions and sensations that you think a million dollars can bring you. You see, we don't desire things or status or situations. What we truly desire are the feelings we anticipate having once we get what we want. If you're wishing for a million dollars, what you may truly want is the feelings of happiness, contentment, security. Maybe there's some pride or self-satisfaction thrown in there. If you're wishing for the perfect romantic relationship, what you may truly want is happiness again, along with feelings like love, joy, and self-esteem. And if you're wishing for a big promotion at work, what you actually want may be the feelings of power, fulfillment, and control that come with it. I'll tell you a very powerful secret. Feelings are just like switches that we flip, consciously or unconsciously, in our heads. That's right. All of our emotions are just switches, like light switches in our minds. We grow up thinking that we don't have access to these switches, that they can only be activated from the outside if certain conditions are fulfilled. If a million dollars happens to come along with our name on it, we give that money permission to flip the appropriate switches and turn on the corresponding emotions. At the very opposite extreme, if we're sitting in our homes and happen to see a wasp flying around in the room, that insect also flips the applicable switches. And suddenly we're feeling whatever it is the sight of a wasp typically makes us feel. Some might feel disgust, fear, worry, annoyance. Pretty strong emotions to be stirred up by a little bug, aren't they? It very ironic because most of us will give a tiny little insect permission to access our emotional switches and not even give that same permission to ourselves The secret to getting what you truly want is to give yourself permission to flip those switches That's the genie that will grant your wishes because what you're really wishing for are the feelings you can access right now without even lifting a finger. It only takes a decision. Try it right now. Relax and choose an emotion. For example, joy. Now just decide to feel joy. Give yourself permission to be joyous. Don't force yourself, just let the emotion flow through your body. Let the liquid sensation travel from your head down to your fingertips and toes. You may feel a tingling sensation or a shuddering in your body, or you may suddenly start to feel giddy. These are indications that you've succeeded in controlling your emotional state. You can continue the feeling as long as you like. For prolonged emotions, you may want to give yourself small affirmations from time to time. Say something like, right now I feel so much joy, while at the same time summoning that joyous thrill through your body again. This is a great demonstration of how you really can choose what to feel. Emotions aren't something that happen to us, they are something that we do. They manifest from deep inside of us, always following the rules that we've created for accessing them. You might ask then, that if we can really have the feelings we want from living our ultimate destiny without actually bothering to achieve it, then why bother? Where's the motivation to press on? Well, that's a very good question, and it raises an issue that I call Achieving to be Happy vs. Happily Achieving. Most of us fall into the trap of achieving to be happy. This means that we don't give ourselves permission to flip the switches of happiness until certain conditions have been met, until we've achieved something. We've already talked a lot about happiness in this program and how it's human nature to never be satisfied with what we've gained. Once we achieve one success, it suddenly takes something more to make us happy. Or we might allow ourselves to be happy for a while, but sooner or later we revoke the permission and set our sights on a higher goal and our happiness becomes dependent on that. I am using happiness as an example here, but this really applies to any emotion we want to feel. Happiness, security, love, control, self-esteem, anything. The point is that we are hinging the emotion on the achievement, but it becomes fleeting and so we crave more achievement. Of course there is nothing wrong with achievement. I love to achieve things myself and I am sure that you do too. But the problem with the mindset of achieving to be happy is that there is so much emphasis on the struggle and the stress and the worry and the uncertainty. We invest so much of our emotion and self-esteem in the act of achieving something specific that if things go even the slightest bit wrong, we are devastated. It's an emotional roller coaster that actually ends up draining our energy and motivation to succeed. Now consider the reverse situation, giving ourselves permission to feel the joyous and fulfilling feelings of achievement right now. This is what I call happily achieving. Remember, this achievement can be anything from the acquisition of an object or wealth, to the starting of a new relationship, to an advance of your career. And if we allow ourselves to reap the emotional benefits of these achievements now, we've We've suddenly lifted a huge burden from our shoulders. The emphasis shifts from striving to reach goals to arriving at them. When our happiness is no longer contingent upon an outcome, the focus of moving to achieve our goals moves from the worry and struggle of whether we'll reach our destination to the joy and thrill of the journey. Our motivation to achieve, far from being squashed by claiming the emotional rewards of achievement prematurely, will actually increase. With this mindset, focusing on the joy of the adventure instead of wasting energy worrying, we can achieve more, more quickly. And of course, there's always the idea that a happy mind, one that's not preoccupied with stressful thoughts and struggles, is always open to grasp new possibilities. Happiness breeds clearer vision and an optimistic view of success. So use your own internal genie to grant yourself the emotional rewards of your ultimate destiny before you actually achieve them. It's a way of making the journey toward your successful future into an exciting and magical adventure instead of a stressful and resolute trek. And it will give you the strength, motivation and certainty to reach all of your goals, whatever they may be. The entire system of giving ourselves permission to feel particular emotions stretches into our lives far beyond the issue of achievement. The emotions we associate with achievement are, of course, extremely important to how we live our destiny. There's actually an emotional system that is more central to our very being, and that is our system of values. Values have been talked about a lot in our society in recent years, but I'm afraid the basic concept is still misunderstood. We hear about values we should associate with our family, our religion, our workplace, our health, and so forth. But I want you to look past all of that to the core of the issue. Basically, values are just emotions that we emphasize and elevate to prominence in our lives. They are emotions we make central in our personalities, which affect everything we do and think. I think of them as emotions that we literally value. Love is a value. Happiness is a value. Security, self-esteem, and self-control are values. But some other values might surprise you. Depression is a value. So are jealousy, greed, anger, and vengeance. So a value system is really neutral. It accepts whatever emotions we give prominence to in our lives and installs them at the core of our beings The problem comes when we embrace unproductive or hurtful feelings as values which is a sadly common phenomenon since we tend to give ourselves permission to experience these emotions far more readily than we do the more pleasant variety. This is because the conditions we set for having undesirable feelings are often far more accessible than those for the desirable feelings. Let me give you a few examples to illustrate what I mean. I think it's safe to say that depression is a very unproductive and undesirable value, but it's one that many people make central in their lives. And it's no wonder, since their self-designated conditions for depression are so easily met. Let's go through a real-life inventory of conditions that a person who values and therefore experiences depression is listed. He says, I feel depressed when someone says something unkind or rude to me. I feel depressed when I sense that people are thinking something unkind or rude about me. I feel depressed when anything doesn't work out the way I planned. I feel depressed when somebody breaks a promise to me, like to call me on the phone. I feel depressed when I miss someone who lives far away or that I've lost touch with. I feel depressed when I see something sad on television or in a book. I feel depressed when it's raining or even when the sky is cloudy. Isn't that amazing? Remember, this person feels depressed if any one of these conditions is met, and in many parts of this country, it's impossible to drive down a highway or walk down a city street without meeting at least half of them. Let's take a look at conditions that have to be met for this same person to feel happiness. He says, I feel happy when I go through a week or longer with everyone being nice to me. I feel happy when I get an unexpected treat, like winning a contest. I feel happy when I accomplish something important to me, like paying off my mortgage or getting a promotion. I feel happy when I buy a large ticket item, like a car or a pool table. As you can see, this guy has set up his life so he can rarely win. When a cloud in the sky sets him off on a bout of depression, and only winning the lottery or other statistically improbable achievements can make him happy, there's something very, very wrong. The trick to creating your value system is to make the conditions for your desirable emotions as easy as possible to meet, and the conditions for your undesirable emotions as difficult as possible to meet. This may require some rearranging. I helped the gentleman we spoke of a moment ago rewrite his list on the conditions he's placed on happiness and depression. Now he can feel happy when he wakes up in the morning because it's going to be the start of a new day of exciting and infinite potential. He can feel happy when he goes to bed at night because he recognizes the positive rewards in everything that happened that day. He can feel happy when he remembers that he's doing what is right for him to do and that other people's opinions are their own concern, not his. He can feel happy when he's alone because he is a unique and special person lucky to be in his own company. He can feel happy when he is with people he cares about because they will always extend his reach into the world and give him experiences he couldn't possibly have on his own. He can feel happy when he does things that bring his ultimate destiny closer to reality. I'm sure you get the idea. Any situation or condition can be rewritten to include the potential of happiness. But what about depression? Well, we also revised his list of conditions for depression. Now he can feel depressed only after he's exhausted all of the possibilities for having things go the way he planned, and only after he's ascertained that nothing positive happened as a result of the situation. And that's it. Talk about making it difficult to be depressed. We've set that condition up to be so circular he'll never be able to meet it. After all, there are always other options to try and even if there weren't, all mistakes have at least one positive result. You've learned something. In effect, we short-circuited his ability to feel depressed. I know this system of values can be a confusing concept to grasp at first, so I want to share with you some of the conditions from another person I know. By doing this, I hope that I can spark something in your own mind. Here's a list of values she tries to avoid, followed by the conditions she's created that make this possible. Do you remember ever being picked on as a kid? Well, unfortunately she does, and it left a lasting impression. So the first value she tries to avoid is baseless feelings of inferiority. The condition she said is, she can only feel this way if she were to believe that she is less than anyone else, instead of remembering that she is unique and special, and that she is the only one who can present her rare and remarkable gifts to the world. Do you see how she set that up so it's circular? As soon as she brings to mind her own uniqueness, that invalidates the condition. If she can't meet the condition, she then truly can't feel inferior to anyone. Let's try another. This same person's life is extremely busy and intense, so she needs to avoid chronic stress or anxiety. This is something we should all get away from. The condition here is, she can only feel this way if she believes the self-imposed myth that she has too much to handle, instead of remembering that the more she handles, the more she becomes. Isn't that powerful? All she has to do is remember this and she won't be able to meet the condition. Therefore, she can't feel stress or anxiety. Let's try one more. The value she's trying to avoid this time is ongoing feelings of loss stemming from the death of a loved one. And the condition is, she can only feel this way if she were to believe that she could actually lose something of significance rather than remembering that anything of lasting or eternal value cannot truly be lost Do you get the idea Now I give you some examples of conditions this woman has created in order to embrace the value she wants in her life The first value here she wants to embrace is a feeling of love and connection with other people. The conditions she's set are to smile, to think positive thoughts about others, or to do something nice for someone. That's it. As long as she's met any of these conditions, she has permission to feel love and connection. Think about how easy she's made it for herself. It takes only a thought or a smile. Here's another value to move toward, a feeling of intelligence and wisdom. And here's all she has to do, learn something new, think before acting, or stretch your mind to gain the understanding she wants. Here are a few more quick examples of values it's a good idea to try to embrace in your life. To feel gratitude, you only have to say thank you for things, and when you're by yourself, remind yourself of what you already have to be grateful for. To feel peace of mind, you can breathe deeply and feel connected to everything. You can meditate, you can think positive thoughts, or you can focus on all the beauty in the world. To feel confidence, all you have to do is act based on what you know is right. To feel a sense of commitment and persistence, you have to follow through on the important goals in your life. Here's an important one. To feel honesty, you must be true to yourself and tell the truth to others. The last value I'll share is feeling creative. To achieve this, you only have to remember to create rather than compete. So remember, when you control the conditions for experiencing your emotions, you master the emotions themselves. And by shifting the prominence of certain emotions in your life, you can emphasize and embrace the values that will carry you through to your ultimate destiny. Now that you've heard the conditions my second friend has for feeling her own emotional values, I hope that you've gotten a better grasp of the concept. Values are so central to our lives that your own values and conditions are bound to be as unique as you are, so I expect you'll be coming up with your own values to move toward. You'll also need to create a list of values that you wish to move away from. These will be especially geared toward your unique personality, as we all have our own blend of moods and attitudes. It's a good idea to start this process by first making a chart of the value system you currently embrace. It can be a simple chart of only two columns, with the first being the emotion you value and the second being the conditions that currently allow you to feel that emotion. From this list, you'll be able to see what changes of values and conditions need to be made. If you're wondering exactly which values you need to give power to in your own life and which values you need to disempower, I can tell you an easy way of deciding. Start with your ultimate destiny and work backwards. Here's how it works. First, decide what you would like your ultimate destiny to contain. You've probably been thinking a lot about this as you've listened to this program. Once you know what you'd like to do with your life, you must figure out what sort of person you have to be to achieve it. Which specific values will you need to embrace and which ones will you need to cast away? Next, you'll have to take a long, hard look at which preconceived conditions you've attached to these values. values? Have your conditions made it difficult to bring out the values you want to embrace in your life? If you currently have any of the values that would hinder your destiny, have they remained a part of your life because your conditions have made them easy emotions to cling to? Finally, it's time to begin modifying the conditions that permit you to feel each of these emotional values. Use the empowering list I just gave you as an example if you like. Make the desirable values easy to experience and create feedback loops in your conditions for undesirable values that will never allow you to experience them. Soon your values will begin to realign themselves in the optimal configuration for the achievement of your ultimate destiny. Can you see what a powerful method this is? If it takes a certain type of person to accomplish the things you want to accomplish, and when you've determined which type of person that is, you will actually become that person. No, it's not just acting like someone else. It's enhancing yourself. All of these values and all of the conditions they require and all of the work to meet these conditions, it all comes from inside you. So do a lot of thinking about what kind of person you are and what sort of person you'll have to be to affect change in your life. Chances are the root of the change will be in your emotional value system. As the pioneering psychologist Carl Jung once wrote, There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion. As we now know, we can control our emotions just by giving ourselves permission to feel them. And by that same action, we are giving ourselves permission to transform our lives. Boy, I really hope you enjoyed those audios by Robert Stuberg. I think you're going to find that there are amazing, amazing strategies that you can apply at every level or at every place you've been in your life in this Creating Your Ultimate Destiny program. So I appreciate you listening today. If you haven't already gotten a copy of the book, it's free. We have physical books we'll ship out to you. You just cover the shipping. We'll cover the rest. And you just need to go to jointheevolution.com. Jointheevolution.com. And you can order your free book. It's time to evolve your life. It's time to unleash your potential. And I look forward to talking with you more tomorrow. But I really appreciate you being here. So share the podcast. Share these ideas and concepts with others. And we'll talk with you soon. Thank you.
