welcome back to the daily mastermind George Wright the third here with your daily dose of inspiration motivation and education I hope you had a good day yesterday some of you were celebrating Halloween in the US at least but I want to talk to you today about something that generally on Wednesdays you know I'll do a little bit of mentor motivation from some of my mentors but I want to talk to you about a concept today that I think you might want to just really sit down and take some notes on and put some thought into and it's how to break your negative cycles of behavior and you know I want to talk to you about how you can finally crack the code of communication based on some stuff that I learned from Tony Robbins but before I do let me give you the quote of the day the quote of the day is from William Shakespeare we know what we are but know not what we may be we know what we are but know not what we may be so listen this past weekend I was pondering some you know negative life cycles and patterns that maybe I've noticed that I've had in my life. I've even had other people kind of bring, you know, things up that they've been experienced, you know, experiencing in their life. But we all have patterns that sometimes continue to present themselves in our life. And it's super frustrating, you know, when we're growth minded, and I know most of you listening to this are, and we're consciously observing and trying to create change in our life, it can be really frustrating you know because we we try to observe and we try to correct and we want to move forward and become the best versions of ourselves and and create the best life possible but the truth is that we're never really going to create lasting change in our life and get rid of certain cycles and patterns that come up until we crack the code until we really identify the real problem and this is why I I'm a big proponent of lifelong learning and growth because in order to become your best self or create your best life, the life that you were meant to live, you know, lifelong learning is needed. And mainly, I believe that lifelong learning is needed because success principles are never created. They're not things that you just, you know, all of a sudden stumble across that, you know, are brand new. You know, they're discovered and they're discovered over time and over learning and based on time and timing and events in your life. So, you know, we may have heard of a certain principle, for example, or a certain personal development or business strategy, or even a strategy that can help us in our life. We might have heard it a million times before, but it never really clicked, or we never really quote unquote heard the solution. We just, it came across our minds, but we really didn't hear it, if you know what I'm talking about. And sometimes we don't hear that true principle until the timing's right or until we really are in a frame of mind or a place in our life that we're seeking the right answers. So it takes time. It takes growth, personal growth. It takes situations and events and maybe even the right type of event or mentor or speaker before some of these solutions in your life are going to present themselves. And, you know, this week was really no different for me. I was contemplating relationships and communication and life events myself. And I know, and most of us realize, and most of us know, that effective communication is a key to relationships and life in general. And as a passionate, driven entrepreneur, I'm not any different. I know that communication is a key. And I struggle, just like you struggle at times, with patience or communication because we're driven and we want to get things done. but you know I was contemplating and pondering this idea of communication and how to increase and create better communication so I was listening to a audio from Tony Robbins I'm going to play it for you today it's just a short one if we have time here but it talks about communication and I stumbled across some major solutions and awareness to some things that I've been you know working on with communication. And the solution, it wasn't anything I hadn't heard a million times before, but it was indeed the first time I actually heard it, if that makes sense, or the first time it really clicked for me and it was kind of an aha moment. So I thought I would kind of share it with you. And just to kind of set this up, Tony was talking about the quality of your life being in direct proportion to the quality of your communication. And I absolutely agree with this, as I'm sure that you do. But I'd even go so far as to say that I've been really aware of communication patterns and I've been trying and I've been working through ways to communicate with different types of individuals. And I communicate in order to, I constantly work on communication in order to create better communication and experiences in my life because I know that communication is gonna determine the quality of your life. But Tony said something when he was talking through this audio that this time it seems I was just more aware of if we're in tune or ready to hear. He said, the quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the communication, and listen to what he said, the communication you have with yourself. The quality of your life let me say that again the quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of communication you have with yourself not other people this is what struck me because I been working so hard and a lot of you work so hard on how to communicate with others but I had to play it back a couple of times because you see I've had situations and events that happen in personal and professional relationships that lead to unhealthy communication and I've recognized this and I've made a lot of efforts to communicate in a more patient understanding or even supportive way but it didn't really click until I heard Tony say communication with yourself that I realized that most of the communication problems were entirely of my own doing internally not with the way I was communicating externally so let me back up and explain to you real quick what this what this sort of means and what I'm trying to say here you see when we go through experiences in our life divorce business personal relationships you know whatever it is whatever the experiences you're going through it internally creates a feeling or an emotion that embeds certain thoughts and it creates certain beliefs in our mind if you experience something bad your mind you know decides to categorize that event as bad and it embeds it in your thoughts and it creates a belief so next time you experience or more importantly your mind thinks you might be going to experience that same or similar situation your mind jumps the gun and it interprets that event based on your beliefs to be something that you've already experience bad or negative emotions with and it's going to prompt you to avoid that situation or it might even exaggerate that situation in your mind and that's an internal dialogue you're having that your mind is designed to protect you and help you to avoid pain and suffering so that's a good thing but you need to recognize that you have to compensate for this as a result when you're faced with an event you might more quickly normally jump to conclusions and get angry or defensive or even interpret that event prematurely as being maybe the exact same event that you've already been through and so you're gonna quickly jump to conclusions or even worse you might assume you already know where this situation is heading so you you take action based on that and the problem is that most of the time what's that old saying 90% of the worst experiences I've ever had in my life only happened in my mind and so what happens is when you have bad experiences in your past you create negative beliefs in your mind and new situations come up and you react and overreact and jump the gun based on past experiences even if it's just internal dialogue and based on these beliefs in a way and a behavior that doesn't serve you so ultimately creating a negative result right this keeps this pattern and cycle going back it maybe has nothing to do with the way you're communicating to someone else but it might have to do with the communication you're having with yourself and it's all based on this internal communication with yourself and this was an epiphany I had regarding communication and the effects of internal communication with yourself because ultimately the quality of your communication does determine the quality of your life your relationships your personal growth but the key is to realize that it's the communication you have with yourself just prior to having it with others that needs to change so when something comes up that triggers a negative emotion or response and you start to get to that point where you you know what's going to happen and you react you need to find a way to interrupt that belief pattern and react or communicate differently i know this is hard but but knowing the patterns and triggers and problems are the key remember you can absolutely create new patterns of reaction and belief it's a proven fact i mean that's that scientific principle of neuroplasticity the key is you have to frequently and consistently notice that pattern and change it to create a new one and the more often you catch yourself the more often you create a new pattern of reacting in a positive way the more you're going to embed that in your mind and you're going to shift those beliefs it's then that you'll move towards creating your best possible life and your best version of yourself and i think that that was a big epiphany for me maybe it is for you i hope it's something that will help inspire and motivate you to unleash your true potential and create better internal communication which will affect your external communication so i know i went real long there but let me play this message for you from tony and you can learn from the master himself i hope you enjoy so what we're really going to do is we're going to start our whole basis of studying of communication to remember one thing and write this in your notes if you would and that is the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your communication the quality of your life is the quality of your communication. Period. The quality of your life is the quality of your communication. Now, pretty basic idea, nothing earth shattering, but I'm here to tell you that your entire life comes down to this. The quality of your entire life comes down to the quality of how you communicate. With whom? No, no. With whom first do you I think it determines how you... That's right. The quality of your life starts with the quality of how you communicate to yourself. That's where it all starts. How you feel is not based on the environment. Is it based like how you feel Is that determined based on like whether or not you have lots of money Yes or no I think a little mixed reaction on that one They go well no no it not No, absolutely not, no. How's that for incongruent communication from a lot of you? Okay, some of you have little mixed feelings about this, don't you? Let me ask you a question. How many of you know somebody who has tons of money and is still not happy? Ah, interesting. How many of you know somebody who doesn't have any money at all but seems to be very happy? So does money determine your happiness, yes or no? No. How many know if you had lots of money, though? You'd be happy. You're different. Okay. I had your money. I'd be happy. No problem. Give me your money. We'll try, okay? People say, money can't buy happiness. Don't know where to shop. No, see that? That's not going to do it, is it? It's not the money. It's how you communicate yourself about money, your lack of it, or the abundance you think you have. By the way, can people have an abundance but communicate to themselves that they're still in scarcity? Yes or no? Yes. Absolutely. So money doesn't do it. Is how you feel determined by whether or not the weather is good? Yes. Oh, really? Are there people in freezing weather who are very happy? Yes or no? Are there people in hot weather that are very happy? Yes or no? Yes. Are there people that are in either one of those weathers in the opposite degree that have opposite feelings? Is that trying to shoot you out yet? Yes. See, the weather doesn't determine it. Is it whether you're happy or not determined by whether or not other people say they love you? You go, yes, but it shouldn't. So you sit there and should all over yourself, huh? You're right, it probably shouldn't, but a lot of us connect that real directly. But I've got a question for you. somebody comes up to you and they tell you, I love you. Or they come up and they hug you or they look at you that certain special way. Or they kiss you passionately. You'll be stealing. They begin to come to attention, gentlemen. Now when all that stuff happens, my question for you is, what made all that happen? Was it really the kiss that did it? Yes, it really. No, I don't think so. If that's true, kissing your dog would get you excited. It wasn't a kiss. It was the meaning you associated to that particular moment when tissue touched tissue in that unique way. That's really it, isn't it? It isn't actually... Yes! It isn't actually the event itself, is it? It is rather what we communicated to ourselves about that event. somebody hugs you and you feel good do they make you feel good yes or no no what makes you feel good is you've got a set of rules inside your head and say if somebody touches me quite like this they look like that sound smell feel like this then i get to say oh and so you say okay it's time to feel good and your brain goes and you start feeling good right so the bottom line is we determine how we feel by the way we communicate to ourselves by the meaning that we communicate about a situation. See, it's not the event that determines how we feel. It's the meaning that we associate to the event that determines how we feel. And that meaning is something we create and we communicate to ourselves. If you're upset about anything, all upsets come down to the meaning you associate to something. If you're upset about something, it's because you're thinking, well, that's because this means they don't care about me, or this means I'm no longer in control, or this means I'm not respected, or this means all upset is based on the meaning and how many times have you been wrong when you linked up the meaning? Anybody been wrong? Yes or no? Yes. This means yes, I'll guide you through this, okay? We've all been wrong. So what we've got to really be able to do is to realize one thing and write it in your notes. Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning that I give it. Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning that I give it. Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning that I give it. You're the one that puts the label on what things mean. And the last time you were with me, I gave you a phrase when we talked about transformational vocabulary. If you recall, transformational vocabulary is the idea that we get all these pictures and sounds and feelings and sensations start to come in our body, but we don't know what it means until we put a label on it. So you get all these things and they feel uncomfortable, they feel kind of painful, and you call that humiliation. Will that intensify the feeling more than if you say you know I a little frustrated Yes or no You better believe it The label we put on our experience becomes our experience And we are the person doing the labeling. Now, granted, I'll agree that most of us are an automatic pilot. We're using a labeling and a communication process that we don't even think about consciously. And we can easily point to other people and show how they created that feeling for us. And certainly they helped us to get into state, they helped us by giving us some feedback, but we still determine the feeling. I'll give you an example. I was in Hawaii recently, and I couldn't believe it. I read this article, and then I saw the thing on TV where they interviewed this guy. He was out swimming, and the shark came and bit his leg off. Yeah. You'd think he'd be fairly upset. Why would you be upset if you lost your leg? After the initial pain, why would you stay upset? Because of the meaning you'd link to that, right? What would be the meaning that would make you feel upset all the time? That's right. The meaning of loss. That you had lost something. See, almost all pain, all pain you're ever going to feel in your life, the pain that people have that makes them upset, it all starts with, I call it emotional anatomy. It all starts in one place. Pain starts with, number one, I'll put it down at the bottom here, a feeling of loss. A feeling of loss. now can you ever really lose anything only if you perceive that there's a loss is that true are you following me on this now for a second you can only feel a loss if you perceive it in other words you have to tell yourself there's a loss you have to communicate that you lost something this man was not upset in fact he was concerned about the shark yeah you say this guy's on drugs no he was sincere because his belief was that number one he was responsible not the shark because he was a swimmer and he knew that in the area he was with sharks and if he's thrashing around on the top, they think it's a turtle. They'll come after him. But his concern was that people were so upset about it that people were going to go out and rage and kill the sharks in that area. How's that for sorting by others instead of sorting by self? So the meaning for him was this was a learning experience. That's what it meant to him. For other people, it would mean I'm named for life. With a different meaning that he communicated. If he would have said, I'm named for life, I'll never be the same. You know, I can never accomplish anything. A woman will never be attracted to me. I'll be a gift for the rest of my life. If he would have linked those meanings, do you think he would have been in the same state? Yes or no? No way. By the way, maybe this is temporary, right? I don't know. I don't know this guy. I'm not going to be around a long time to meet him. But I can tell you for years what I've done is interview people who absolutely, what I think are spiritual masters. What I mean by spiritual masters is not flying to the East and meeting somebody who sits and meditates. I mean somebody who doesn't have the loose of their legs or their arms and lives in absolute joy Is totally loving and tries to figure out how to contribute to other people to me? That's a spiritual master I'll tell you what there's tons of them and they're my friends now because I go to learn from them You know I find out they have developed belief systems That have helped them to interpret human behavior in a way that causes them not to be upset Because no matter what happens they finally figured out something if you want to succeed in life figure out how it works and then do it that way not the way you think it should be see what most of us do is we run around life with all these rules about how life should be about how you should be about how you should be how doctors should be how staff should be how patients should be you know they're gonna be how they really are not how you want them to be and then every time they don't meet your criteria you communicate yourself it's time to be annoyed. Or maybe a more intense word. Is that true? When you have an upset of any sort, you're feeling some negative emotion. It always comes down to really you have a feeling of what? Loss. But do you ever really lose? No, you don't ever lose anything. It just changes form. Hey, nothing in the entire universe ever disappears. Nothing. Not your physical body, Not rocks, not stones, nothing. Everything in the universe transforms from one form to another. You take water, you try to destroy it, let's say you boil it, what does it become? Steam. Everything in the world transforms to a higher level. It's always transforming. You've got to realize you can't lose anything. You can transform things, but you can't lose anything. Now you can try and pretend you've lost something. You can be upset with somebody and you think, oh my God, I've lost their love, or they've lost mine, or I've lost respect. How do you lose respect? You can't lose something that's already inside of you. See, the problem is, people are, you know, looking for love in all the wrong places. Love is not something you have to go looking for when it's where you come from. A friend of mine said that, Michael Hadley. Wow, what a great thing to remember. Love is not something you have to go looking for when it's where you come from. See, you can't lose something. Everything you thought you'd lose is already inside of you.
